I’m so ashamed.

Over at Bruce Clay, Inc, Virginia talks about a blogging tenet that she’s never particularly agreed with. One that says that bloggers are to Be Controversial in order to get links, garner attention and attract the almighty blog comment. Virginia calmly states that she’s not so comfortable with that. She thinks bloggers should consider opposing viewpoints but be cautious of taking extremes and should be responsible with their words. She makes a lot of great points.

Personally, I think “controversial” is just the wrong word and end goal. The right one is “polarizing”.

There’s a problem with telling people “to be controversial”. The problem is that people don’t know what that means. They think “controversial” means “fighting”. They think it means being negative, being a grouch and taking unfair shots at people. That’s not a blogging plan or how attract an audience or build a community. That’s how you show people that you’re not capable of more. It’s not controversial; it’s hollow.

That said, I think being polarizing is important.

What attracted me to Virginia’s post wasn’t that she talked about how controversy fits into blogging – that’s been done. It was that she talks about language – how it should be used and the importance of respecting it. It’s vital. And I think that respecting language means not shying away from it. It means that instead of watching our language, we should be using it.

How do you use language effectively?

• Use language to frame your argument in a way that people notice.
• Use it to shake and challenge people.
• Use it to tell a story (something Virginia does very well).
• Use it to be sexy.
• Use it to push people with trigger words.
• Use it to teach.
• Use it to make them confront things they weren’t ready to.
• Use it to force them over obstacles just to prove you wrong.
• Use it to make them feel warm and pretty and part of your community.
• Use it to make them feel present.

Telling people to be controversial inspires bad behavior. It’s like giving people a loaded gun they haven’t even learned to aim. Don’t worry so much about being controversial, but do push your readers further than they’re comfortable going as a way of helping everyone learn (yourself included).It’s about igniting that spark so they can do their own pile on. It’s about being helpful by opening a side window when everyone else is charging the front door.

If you want to call that “creating controversy”, do so. For me, that detracts from its importance and frames things dangerously for bloggers just starting out. It’s the same as dismissing a passionate or contrarian blog post as “just link bait”. It’s not about baiting people or creating drama where there is none. It’s about using language in smart ways that get your point across and create a louder response. It’s about using your language as a tool to make people think.

If you’re not using your blog or site to make people think, even if its just to think about YOU, what are you doing?

Should you be controversial for the sake of being controversial? Of course not. Few would advocate that. Should you respect language? Yes. And should you use language in a way that makes people react? Absolutely.

I think the most successful bloggers are often the ones who are incredibly polarizing. They’re the people who push their audience into zones they’re not comfortable entering by themselves. Because when you’re uncomfortable, you’re forced to reconsider what you really believe and what you’re doing. That’s when you’re willing to change. There’s a great deal of power in getting someone to that point and it doesn’t happen lightly.

My unsolicited advice?  Don’t be controversial; be polarizing. The difference is as large as relying on what someone else killed for food and learning how to smell blood  all by yourself.

Sorry, Joey. Mommy loves new baby more.

David Spinks caught me on Twitter Friday morning and asked a question that was hard to answer on less than four hours of sleep and within the confines of 140 characters. Thanks to Twitter Search, you can watch me awkwardly try. However, the question he asked was an important one. And my inability to appropriately answer it haunted me all weekend (GET IT?).

David asked for my thoughts on treating all customers equally – basically ARE all customers equal or are some customers “more important” or “more vital” than others? He was piggybacking off a conversation he started earlier.. I thought maybe we could continue it.

What I told him is this: Your customers AREN’T equal and believing they are takes money out of your pocket. More attention should be focused on those that “matter” and less should be focused on those people who simply matter “less”.

Before you kick me, let’s back up.

A few weeks ago we talked about ComCast. I mentioned that one of my biggest issues with ComCast was how differently they treat customers in terms of service. If you mention them on Twitter, they jump into action to help. If you try to speak with someone over the phone, they jerk you around and you get no resolution. It’s not cool. Customer service should be universal. You’re responsible for the product you make and the service you provide. You shouldn’t get a different experience based on how you choose to make contact. End of story.

Outside of that, things change.

Social media ruined the Web. It turned us into whiny babies.

• We don’t want Twitter lists because we don’t want people to (God forbid) feel excluded.
• We don’t want to down vote bad content because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings by giving them the heads up that they’re not clever.
• We offer mediocre services for free instead of charging for something better because paying for things offends us. People won’t even pay for porn anymore.
• We don’t want to even suggest that one customer is worth more to us than someone else, because that’s not right. Communities are equal. And made of rainbows.

And it’s this “no man left behind” approach to business that breeds mediocrity and attempts to make the status quo acceptable. It’s screwed up our schools by handing out participation trophies to the weak and it’s had even larger consequences on businesses. If you’re treating your customers equally, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. You’re doing a disservice to your “better” customers, you’re wasting time and money trying to appease the “lesser” ones, and you’re spending time looking in the wrong direction. I realize that it’s not politically correct to publicly lump people into “good”, “better”, “best” buckets, but you’re already doing it in your head. Why not at least get it on paper where the information is actionable?

Respect your customers by segmenting them. You know which customer type is more important to you. Create complete customer personas that reflect each type. Then, bucket them.

• Vocal brand evangelists go into one bucket.
• Long time/major customers go into another bucket.
• Average customers go into a bigger bucket.
• Whiners get thrown out.

The people in the top bucket get more attention. Their voices should be heard the loudest. They are the ones who should be consulted with for decisions about your company or product. They get to leave the input you read most. They’re who you care about and whose experience you aim to better. That is the bucket driving your business.

Trying to lead a company by committee and pleasing “everyone” doesn’t work. That’s how you wind up spending ten early morning meetings and a Saturday debating the size font you’re going to use on the home page. By giving more weight to the people who actually bring value, you build a leaner organization. One that naturally filters out people who don’t fit inside your brand and who would walk over your dead body if it meant collecting $20. You, over time, cut out the people inclined to be a time suck.

Let’s be honest: Your average customer would leave you if your competitor waved a free Medium French fry and chocolate shake in front of their face. Let that person walk.

In David’s post, he argues that businesses should treat all communities the same, regardless of their influence. He wonders if it’s really worth alienating your average customer to do right by the average one.

In my opinion? YES, YES, IT IS.

Twitter created a network of average by refusing to charge. And as a result, their service is weaker. I don’t care how successful Twitter is today, if they were to switch over to a pay model, tomorrow it would be a better platform. Would people drop off? OMG, in DROVES. But the brand evangelists, the people who understand the mission, the value and the use of the site, would fight to pay for it. If paying for Twitter meant I could get new features and a promise that it wouldn’t CRASH every other day, I’d pay in a heartbeat. The people who wouldn’t don’t believe in you. They’re not worth your time.

Some people are worth more to your organization than others. They’re simply more important.  Treat all your customers equal in terms of service, but know who best defines your brand in terms of operation and cater to that group.  Their voices are what define you, not the one of your “average” customer.

PubCon Las Vegas is a favorite among a lot of folks in the industry. Yes, everyone loves a reason to hit Vegas, but PubCon is known for pulling all the elusive industry veterans out of their caves and throwing them up on stage for public consumption. That means not only are the panels chock filled with information, but the knowledge transfer you get at night while everyone is enjoying their adult beverages, well…it’s priceless.

I’m really excited that all four (yes, FOUR!) Outspoken ladies will be in attendance in Vegas. If you’ll be at the show, you can catch both Rhea and Rae hitting the podium. Rhea will be speaking on Thursday’s Reputation Monitoring and Management panel, while Rae will take the stage for Tuesday’s Hot Topics and Trends in the Affiliate Space, as well as the SEO, Affiliate and Lead Gen site review. You’ll definitely want to be around for those.

I will, of course be around to deliver some informative and snarky liveblogging coverage. You can find my schedule below. And most exciting for us – PubCon Las Vegas will be out first public appearance with new Senior Account Manager, Dawn Wentzell. If you see her, please run up and introduce yourself. But please do not scare her. She is ours now and I will kill you if you damage her.

So, um, check out the liveblogging schedule:

Tuesday, November 10

9:00am-9:45am: Kickoff Keynote, Tony Hsieh, CEO Zappos
10:00am-11:15am: In-House SEO
11:30am-12:45pm: Capitalizing on Twitter the Microblogging Revolution
1:30pm-2:45pm: Top Shelf SEO: Hot Topics and Trends
2:55pm-4:10pm: Hot Topics and Trends in the Affiliate Space
4:15pm-5:30pm: SEO for Multimedia and Rich media

Wednesday, November 11

9:00am-9:45am: Keynote Panel: Vegas Strip Hotel Marketing Departments
10:15am-11:30am: Local Search and Mobile Optimization
11:30am-12:45pm: Viral and Video – Two Good Things That Go Great Together
1:30pm-2:45pm: Social Media & Press Relations
2:55pm-4:10pm: Post Mortem-Banned Site Forensics
4:15pm-5:30pm: SEO and Viral Tactics on a Shoestring Budget

Thursday, November 12

9:00-9:45am: Keynote with Bob Brisco of Internet Brands
10:15am-11:30am: Linkfluence: How to Buy Links With Maximum Juice and Minimum Risk
11:30-12:15pm: Online Brand Management Strategies
1:30pm-2:45pm: Competitive Intelligence: Know Thy Competitor Well
2:55pm-4:10pm: Build a Community

[If you can't count, that's 17 sessions in 3 days. Feel free to bring me presents. Or at least Gatorade.]

And that’s it. We’re excited to see everyone at PubCon. If you’re gonna be there, make sure to grab one of us and say hi. Unless it’s Rae. Don’t grab Rae. She may punch you in the face.

See ya in Vegas!

Today, we are very proud (and excited!) to let you in on a little secret.  To be honest, it’s one that our clients have been privy to for a while. Her name is Dawn Wentzell (@saffyre9) and she’s the new new Senior Account Manager for Outspoken Media.

Everyone please welcome Dawn. Dawn kicks ass.

Though her title says Senior Account Manager, we’re a shop of four. That means titles don’t get you out of what needs to be done. So, just like the rest of us, Dawn will be doing a little bit of everything as we continue to grow and take over the world. Dawn’s our first official hire, so we wanted someone who could quickly help us out with client work and assist with a wide variety of SEO and project management duties. Lucky for us, Dawn was both qualified and crazy enough to accept a position working with Outspoken (yey!). Unlucky for me, Dawn resides in Canada so I still don’t have someone to bring me coffee (drat!). We’re working on that for the next employee.

A bit of background on Dawn: She’s Canadian (eh!) and began building Web sites in 1997. She got her official start answering phones and doing customer service for a Web agency in Guelph. Within a few years, she worked her way up to Senior Designer and found herself with a strong and morbid interest in technical SEO, getting hands on experience working with small businesses and local search. She sometimes blogs at dawnwentzell.com and I’m thinking of asking her to blog for lisabarone.com, too. Blogging on vanity domains is the all the rage, after all.

More background on Dawn:  Neither Rae, Rhea nor myself could love her any more.  We think she’s the perfect complement to our working styles – she’s smart, capable and isn’t afraid to get loud when she doesn’t agree with something.  She’s a great fit for us and I’m so glad she’s here and that we can finally announce it.

To Dawn, we’d like to officially welcome you on board.  We’re psyched to have you and so thrilled about the value that you’ve already started bringing to our clients.  On a personal note, I very much look forward to dragging your sorry ass to The Ranch for some good Country music the next time I come to visit. So get your boots ready. ;)

There you have it. Outspoken Media is now a team of four. And together, we’re even more Outspoken than ever. Huzzah!  Lets give the girl a good welcome!

Here’s the video:

Jenny’s secret is to choose to find the humor and to laugh. Because, as she so eloquently puts it, if you can’t find a way to appreciate the people who love you AND those who love to hate you, you’re missing out. It’s a lesson I’ve continually learned, accepted, and epitomized over the past year. I now find people who hate me HILARIOUS and I’ve come to find that the critics are often wrong.  You’d be surprised what that does.

The Internet gives you license to be and do whatever the hell you want. You’re given that free of charge at sign up. What you have to bring, however, is the strength to be it.

Jenny could probably waste a lot of time apologizing for offending those who prefer stereotypes. She could probably bite her tongue and be less clever and less who she is. She could probably be softer and not quite as ‘outspoken’.  But then she’d probably suck. She wouldn’t be delivering keynotes that induce giggle tears or working on a new book.  Instead, she’s chosen to say, “screw the haters” and to find the humor when people take time out of their obviously not-so-busy schedules to fling misspelled insults at her. You always have a choice – to take it in and let it affect your business or to laugh it out.

Laugh.

Sure, it’s not always easy, but the haters were never your audience. They’re not who you’re after. Do not let them affect or alter how you’re talking to that audience. That’s who you focus on, no matter what.   Success happens when you stop caring about the peanut gallery and bleed every ounce of what you have on making things better for your audience.  Everything else is your comic relief. It’s not your fault they’re too sensitive for the Internet.  The best way to deal with unprovoked criticism and haters is to say, “thanks”, giggle, and to realize they don’t matter.  They never did. Opt out.

Of course, I never unsubscribed from any of these newsletters. That takes effort and would be rude. Instead, I’d just delete them as they rolled into my inbox and silently take note of how annoying the company was. Yes, Big Brand, I kept seeing your name appear in my email and I ignored you. And sometimes, I even resented you. Just a bit, though. Then I changed jobs and work emails. Muahaha!

It’s really sad to see people abuse email newsletters or just get purely lazy with them. Because email marketing is still really powerful and a great customer retention tool.

Email newsletters:

• Promote top of mind and brand recognition
• Give you a more personal forum than RSS because email is more personal
• Can take people “behind the scenes” for whatever you’re doing
• Encourage people to click back to your site
• Often convert better than RSS

But they only do that if people are opening them and interacting with your content.

I’m in a bit of a sharing mood today, so I don’t really want to spew out all the things that are wrong with most email newsletters or shout out a list of 10 things to include. Instead, I thought I’d focus on two email newsletters that I think get it “right” by providing strong benefits and being smart enough to know what their customers want. It’s possible one is a bit biased, but I’ll let you decide.

Chris Brogan’s Newsletter

I know, I know, you’re tired of hearing about how “right” Chris Brogan is doing things. I get it. But have you read his newsletter? The first time I received Chris’ newsletter it was right after we had met at Affiliate Summit East and it took me two paragraphs to realize it WAS a newsletter and he didn’t just write me a long note. Because that’s how it reads – like a handwritten letter to an old friend. It’s warm and it’s engaging, there’s lots of “our” usage and it makes you feel like he’s having this chat with you over hot chocolate and a warm cookie. And roll your eyes at that all you want, IT WORKS.

I will open Chris’ newsletter the moment it hits my mailbox, because it’s not “marketing” it’s a letter from a friend and a brand that I have a relationship with. And that’s the whole damn point of email marketing – to build a bridge with people. People buy from people they know and these newsletters make you feel like you know Chris, but even more, that he knows you. Trust Agents? Yep, I bought it.

Bruce Clay, Inc’s SEO Newsletter

[Full disclosure: I worked for Bruce Clay for almost three years and wrote the newsletter during a chunk of that time. That said, I haven’t worked there in over a year, I didn’t come up with the tone/format and if I hated the newsletter (or the company), frankly, I’d tell you. I’m a crappy liar.

The Bruce Clay, Inc. newsletter is not warm and fuzzy. You won’t feel any more personally connected to the company no matter how long you’re subscribed. You don’t get any bits of the author.

However, what the newsletter does is associate Bruce Clay, Inc. as a company that knows their stuff, that is good at providing information, and that is helpful without being in your face. And if you’re a service provider with a strong brand behind you, sometimes that’s all you’re trying to do – remind people of your authority. I like the Bruce Clay, Inc. newsletter for very different reasons than Chris Brogan’s newsletter. I don’t want a personal relationship with Bruce Clay, Inc. (um, no offense guys. BFFs for life, really.), I just want the information and they probably recognize that that’s how most of their readers feel. They don’t want to go out to dinner with you. They just want to eat. Their newsletter is about keeping top of mind and building on their expertness. And I think it does a really good job of that.

Yes, both newsletters make it easy to subscribe, unsubscribe and to share, all the tenants of good email marketing, but they also share content in a way that makes you want to read it. Your newsletter should offer a benefit to your readers, the way that they want to receive it. Chris’s audience expects that hand-holdy feeling from him. That’s why they interact with him. People engaging with the Bruce Clay, Inc. brand are probably more after the hard information, because that’s what their about.

Okay, now I have a favor to ask.  Ready?

I want to hear about the email newsletters you like and why you like them, if you’re willing to share. It’s possible I’m trying to get ideas for future Outspoken Hoot and Holler email. That’s like a newsletter, but with more street cred.  Oh, and if you are interested in a What To Do/Not Do post on email marketing, check out an old SEOmoz post from Rebecca.

Thanks.

Because if you don’t teach them, someone else will. And you may not like what they’re instilling in your offspring. It’s time for you to sit down with employees and have “the talk”, social media style.  It’s natural. There’s no need to be embarrassed.

The social media talk is really just about safety. You wouldn’t allow your 19 year old daughter to go off to college without talking to her about sex, drugs and the various frat boys she’s going to meet. So why are you giving your social communications staff member the rope to hang himself (and your company) with? Educate your staff before they become the next Ben Kaplan.

Earlier this month we heard that 54 percent of CIOs have completely banned social media at work. Employees simply can’t use it at all. Nineteen percent said they allow it for “business purposes only”, as if there was a clear difference. The thing is, you can’t live your life with “fear” being your default response, especially in social media. You rid yourself of that fear when you take control. Banning social media doesn’t work for a number of reasons.

• Your employees eventually leave your office and can bash you (accidentally or not) just as well from their home computers.
• There’s really no way you’re going to keep your employees away from social media during 9-5. Are you confiscating their cell phones, too?
• Education is a far more effective way to handle issues.

You can “ban” social media all you want. Your employees are resourceful. They will find a way to tweet about their [boring meeting], how they [hate their boss] or perhaps even worse when a competitor buddies up to them to get confidential information. And if you think it doesn’t happen, well then you live in a world of bunnies. I know I was.

On December 1, new FTC regulations will take effect that will change how many businesses and individuals practice disclosure. Those same FTC regulations also protect companies from staffer who go against recorded social media policies. If you don’t have a policy for your company, you need to do two things right now.

1. Make one.
2. Educate your staff on how to use social media within the confines of your organization.

If your company isn’t equipped to educate its employees on how to use social media responsibly, either for work purposes or just on a personal level, bring in a team of consultants for social media training. It’s important.

Social media education should focus on:

• What social media is, what it means and the opportunity for businesses.
• Highlighting and explaining how to use various social tools like Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Digg, your niche sites, industry blogs, etc for good. [Perhaps a condensed version of the ultimate social media etiquette handbook.]
• How employees should represent themselves online – being respectful, genuine, transparent, and NOT picking fights or offering free merchandise for votes, etc.
• The proper way to engage people and build relationships. [ie NOT “Digg this and we’ll send you free stuff.]
• How to use good judgment and understanding the dangers of social media’ing ‘under the influence’ of anger or alcohol.
• What they can or cannot share about the company, company projects and clients.
• Case studies in positive and negative social media use. There are plenty of them out there, good AND bad.
• A lesson in your company’s community guidelines

Should you need helping crafting your own, here are some good examples of social media policies:

• BBC’s Online Services Guidelines
• Dell’s Communicatioin Policy
• ESPN’s Social Media Guidelines [coughSportsIllustratedcough]
• IBM’s Social Computing Guidelines
• Intel’s Social Media Guidelines
• Microsoft’s Tweeting and Blogging Guidelines
• U.S. Air Force New Media Policy (PDF)
• US Navy Policy and Guidance
• US Coast Guard’s Social Media Policy

The best way to get rid of the fear involved with social media is to educate yourself and your staff, and then to create reasonable guidelines for its proper use. Don’t tell them exactly what they can or cannot say, but do stress responsibility of their words and actions. This is going to become increasingly more important with the new FTC guidelines. And beyond that, it’s just good business. It’s time for you and your employees to have “the talk”.

It means you’re about to spend the next two months stressing over what to get your little one. You’re going to take that trip down memory lane to recall what you wanted at that special age. You’re going to get up early in the morning and get elbow-happy knocking down other parents in the toy aisle of Kmart. And then, when you’ve finally secured the perfect gift, exactly what you wanted at age three/five/ten, you will watch in horror as your child tosses it aside and spends the rest of the day playing inside the cardboard box it came in. It happens every year.

And worse, it happens every day in business when business owners convince themselves that they know best. When they’re so sure that they’re the ones best to solve customers’ problems, that they know better what people want, and when they dumbly think that their customers will use their products how they were designed instead of how they want.

Being that stupid in business is expensive.

There was a really great article in the NYT yesterday about how Twitter Serves Up Ideas From Its Users. It detailed how some of Twitter’s best features – retweets, hashtags and @’ing – were created by watching how people used the site and the little hacks they were creating all by themselves. Over time, Twitter noticed all the ways users had made the site better and began integrating them as new features.

Truth: Your customers are hacking your products the same way.

During BlogWorldExpo, Darren Rowse talked about the two products he sells via his site – the ProBlogger Community and the various books he’s written. Both of these were created because people asked for them. His community wanted a way to interact with another and they wanted a way to make the knowledge Darren shared every day more portable. Darren created products that addressed their needs and frustrations.

Truth: Your customers are also telling you what they want.

The best way to do this marketing “thing” is to sell people things they already want. Because then you’re not really “selling” them. You’re giving it to them, even if there’s a price tag.Even if you don’t think these truths are correct for your business, I promise that they are.

• Your customers are hacking your product every day to use them more efficiently. Don’t believe me, do a Google search for [what you do + hack].
• They’re typing clues into your site search box about what they wish your product did/offered.
• They’re writing blog posts and tweeting about the frustrations and roadblocks you’re unknowingly causing them.
• They’re using complementary services that also make sense for your business (think the drive-thru).
• They’re abandoning your site on the same page because you’re not telling them what they need to hear. (Check your analytics.)
• They’re calling and emailing you asking for X or complaining about Y.

Buying your children elaborate gifts when all they want is the box is relatively harmless as a parent. It also makes for some great photos and family memories. However, doing the same in business is inefficient. And you want to be efficient, because there’s money in efficiency. There’s success there.

Instead of coming up with products no one wants, figure out what they do want. That means making note of how people are hacking your product so that you can integrate them into the next go around. It means finding out where their frustrations lie so that you can take them away. It means seeing how they’re interacting with your site in order to get a deeper understanding of it. It means outright asking what your customers want. It means noticing that they’re using X with your Y and then finding a way to build X right into the dashboard.

What’s interesting is that customers usually don’t want the elaborate and costly new features we think they do. They don’t want something new or more complicated. They just want you to make what they already have better. They want it to be simpler. Because as nice as bells and whistles are, not having to think or hack something is universally better.

The product you create isn’t “your”, it’s “ours”. And that means that often your customers are the ones with the better grasp on how it’s going to be used. Stop guessing what they want and realize that they’re telling you in a whole bunch of ways. Use your analytics, your site logs and the many behavioral cues they’re giving you to give THEM what they want.

I mean, it’s possible they want that supercharged robot that speaks 5 languages, sings a medley of songs, dances and can spout out random trivia questions while doing back flips. But maybe they just want the box so they can turn it into the rocket ship they’ve always dreamed of. It’s a lot easier to sell someone what they already want than trying to create a need they never had.

But what happens if you’re not seeing that health indicator? And instead, your blog is mute? Here are seven reasons your blog isn’t receiving comments and how you can fix it.

You don’t interact with commenters

Responding to every blog comment that comes in is sometimes difficult when things get busy, however, NOT responding to folks (especially new commenters) is a great way to ensure that they never comment again. It takes time to think up that clever comment, type it all out, and then hit send. People want to know that they’re being heard. They want to engage and talk to you. If you’re not doing them justice by responding back, they’re not going to make the investment the second time around. There’s nothing sadder than a comment thread filled with people asking the author questions…and the author completely ignoring it. Don’t be “that” guy.

How to fix it: Stop ignoring and start talking to your audience. Though some say I need to grow up a little for this, but I think your blog’s strength is formed by the community around it. You need your army. Responding to people is a lot of work, but so is building a strong brand and community. Buck up, soldier.

No one wants to be first.

It’s scary to walk into a party alone. We’d rather sit in our car and wait for a familiar face to show up. Blog comments work the same way, especially if someone wants to share an opposing viewpoint.  It’s difficult to get people to comment on your blog when all the posts around it are sporting 0s and 1s.  We want to hang out where the people are. Social Proof tells us that blogs with comments will continue to get more comments. Blogs where people can hear themselves echo…not so much.  It’s too scary.

How to Fix It: Seed comments to get the ball rolling. Back in August, Darren Rowse shared how secret blogging alliances can help people grow their communities. There’s truth (and strength) in numbers.

You make me register first

There’s nothing more frustrating than reading something great in your RSS reader, clicking through amped to comment…and then being told you have to register first. Not only is it ANNOYING and unnecessary, but you’ve also taken away my instant gratification. I understand that people do this to help combat spam and jerks, but more often than not you’re throwing a hurdle in front of me that I’m not willing to cross. I’ll just leave and tweet my response instead.

How to fix it: Get rid of the registration process and make it absolutely simple to engage in your community. Find another way to test people’s humanness. I should not have to become a member of anything to leave a comment on your blog.

Your blog isn’t passionate and borders between press release and informercial

Sorry, your blog is just plain broken.

How to fix it: Unbreak my heart. Unbreak your blog and learn how to get naked. It’s feels so good.

You know everything and don’t seem interested in me

One of my earliest blogging lessons came from listening to Lorelle VanFossen at WordCamp San Francisco a few years ago. She told me (and a room full of people) not to give people everything. Don’t offer up the 100 SEO Secrets of All Time. Give 20 and let your readers add the rest. Let them become part of the story and add their own value. Sure, it’s great that you’re a bundle of knowledge, but sometimes it’s about being part of a team and asking everyone else to share their own stories.

How to fix it: Don’t be a know-it-all. Ask your readers questions and encourage lurkers to stop being creepy (don’t actually *call* them creepy, though) and join in the conversation. Sometimes people just need an invitation even though you think you made it obvious. For example, I can’t just tell Rhea I’m going to Flavour Café to work for the day and expect her to know that’s an invitation to come along. I have to actually invite her. Holy drama for months as I figured this one out. :p

You act like an arrogant…island

A good way to turn people off and ensure they never comment on your blog is to display how much better than them you are by never acknowledging what THEY’RE doing. You just keep hanging out on your blog, talking to yourself (and about yourself) on Twitter and letting them find for themselves. I mean, who needs them anyway?

How to fix it: You do! Get off your island and interact like an adult. Leave comments on other blogs, link out to good people, comment on community message boards and promote those that are worthy of promoting. It helps raise your Internet karma and lets other people know that you’re alive and interested in them. People like other people who are interested in them. It’s human nature. Humans are vain. If you comment on their blog, they will very often follow you back and comment on yours. Get the conversation rolling.

Your community scares me

Frankly, some Web communities are scary. Not in the porn or freak of nature sense, but in the way that high school was scary. No one likes cliques. No one wants to enter an environment where new comers are not allowed, where independent thought is chastised and where you can’t trust the blog owners to moderate the conversation and keep everyone in line. If no one is commenting on your blog, perhaps it’s because you haven’t made it safe to do so.

How to fix it: You need to protect your blog from jerks and asshats by setting some ground rules. If you notice that your regular commenters have formed into a clique that bullies those with differing opinions, you need to get in there and kick some butt. It’s still your house and you need to be the one to control it. You set the tone that everyone else has to follow. People comment in communities that are warm and inviting, not where they have to show up in full battle gear.

Obviously, there are other reasons people aren’t commenting. What makes you comment or NOT comment on someone’s blog? What have you noticed about the comments on your own blog?

There are A LOT of businesses trying to elbow their way into social media right now. We get people contacting us every day asking for social media and ORM strategies to help put out the fires that ignite around them. They think that creating a Twitter account or being active on Facebook will help them “listen” and “engage”. And it will. But listening alone won’t do anything to fix the core issue. And the issue is often that their product simply sucks. That’s what they need to fix.

Which brings us to Comcast.

If you saw TechCrunch this morning you read the post about how Twitter changed the culture of Comcast. How “Famous Frank” helped the company become more responsive to customers and altered the conversation. He’s right; they have changed the conversation. Now when people talk about how badly Comcast sucks, they preface it with how responsive the company is. Comcast hasn’t learned anything. They’re just shelling out more bandaids.

Often – used, dirty bandaids.

Last year Rebecca Kelley shared an experience she had with Comcast where they refused to cancel her NBA League Pass because the season had already started. Like any red-blooded American, Becs went to Twitter to express her rage after attempts to phone the company had failed. The moment she hit Twitter, the situation was resolved and her account was credited. She was placated. Happy, even. Until this year when they charged her for the exact same package she had canceled a year ago.

There’s a difference between hearing and forgetting, and listening and responding. Comcast hasn’t learned or fixed anything.

• The service still sucks.
• Their installers suck.
• Their customer representatives suck.
• It’s still impossible to get a hold of anyone WITHOUT resorting to social media

My history with men has taught me that a guy can only cook you dinner once to say, “I’m sorry”. After that, he’s not sorry. He just knows that cooking you dinner gets him out of trouble. Comcast has been cooking you dinner for a year and a half.

You’re probably cooking a lot of people dinner, too.

Don’t use social media as a bandaid. Instead, learn what’s not currently working in your organization and what people want to see. And then, for the love of God, FIX IT! That is the point of all the listening – to improve on what you’re doing.  To learn what people want so that you can give it to them. You don’t get a gold star for being in the conversation, you get MONEY for creating a product or service that people actually want to use. Increasing your ROI is the goal behind social media. Not unicorns. Do not forget that. Put it on a plaque if you need to.

People want you to be human, but they don’t need to be your friend. At the end of the day, they just want you to give them a good product, something that they can trust. That should be your end goal in everything that you do. Collecting the information that you need to improve your business and what you offer people. Let’s not be morons. No one likes Zappos because they’re engaging with people. We like them because they offer a great product. Yes, we choose them over the other online shoe retailers because they’re human and we relate to them, but they can be as human as they want, if the product sucks, you’re not buying from them.

Do what Comcast hasn’t and learn. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how well or how quickly you respond to your customers if they’re still not satisfied with what you’re giving them. A crap product is crap, regardless of how well it engages with you.